Former MP Lim Hwee Hua posts up fake news on Facebook page
And no one notices… 58 comments later…
Trolling done by Joey Tan
Some time back, we posted an article from fake news site, The Onion, on our Facebook page titled “Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term”. After getting some circulation, the article finally reached recently retired Aljunied MP, Lim Hwee Hua.
And she posted it up on her Facebook page.
To give her the benefit of doubt, she may have known that it was a spoof and posted it up to test the reactions of netizens.
But what’s funny is the angry debate that ensued. 58 comments and some trolling later, still, no one’s noticed the spoof.
Nicely done Obama fans.
Nicely done Jaro Gee. Man who seems to know alot about American politics but is clueless about The Onion.
So this guy hates fake views, fakers, and liars. BUT DOESN’T KNOW IT’S FAKE NEWS??? Oh good god…..
Let’s see what happens when we make things a little more obvious. I’m the first dude, borrowing Shihan’s account.
Ok, failed. Let’s try again…
Let’s make things more obvious by lifting a fake quote directly from the article.
WAH LAO!!!!!! STILL DON’T GET IT???
Finally, a hint of enlightenment.
And at the 59th comment, finally, light dawns on the trolls.
Hello Kitty’s boyfriend, Dear Daniel, is also a little girl, not a cat
Second round of shock waves emanating across the globe.
Following the shocking revelation that Hello Kitty is in fact not a cat but a little girl, as clarified by its creator Sanrio, Hello Kitty fans around the planet were in for another shock.
It has just been announced that Hello Kitty’s supposed boyfriend Dear Daniel, is also not a cat, but is actually also a little girl.
A press statement issued by Hello Kitty’s creator read: “He’s a cartoon character. He is a little girl. He is a friend. But he is not a cat. He’s never depicted on all fours. He walks and sits like a two-legged creature.”
Dear Daniel’s real name is Daniel Starr, a very effeminate name, which was all along a clue that he is a girl.
Dear Daniel also has a pet of his own and the pet is a hamster.
This has raised the ire of some segments of society who want more clarity as to the gender and species of other cartoon characters such as Doramon, Godzilla, Crayon Shin-chan and Ultraman.
Another mishap story:
S’porean student gets pregnant playing university’s Freshmen Orientation Camp games
Hugh Jackman visits Singapore, helps locals forget about their miserable lives
The Wolverine actor helped spread some of his healing touch acquired from his character.
By Nyi Nyi
Hollywood superstar, Hugh Jackman, along with his famous brand name co-stars, arrived in Singapore this week to promote their new movie, X Men: Days of Future Past.
Jackman’s arrival provided a welcome respite from the dreadful time Singaporeans had been having in coping with the rising cost of food, stagnant wages and sky high property prices.
The Wolverine star went so far as to go to a local Ya Kun toast joint to spread some cheer.
A Ya Kun toast employee, who took a colourised photo with Jackman, gushed about how handsome Wolverine was and claimed that the photo could be used to justify her earning $6 an hour, in an otherwise thankless job.
Jia Loh Tee, the employee, said: “$6 is really not enough to support my family, but when we’re eating instant noodles for lunch and dinner. Now this photo with AI will help make things better.”
Mei Zhuo Gong, an unemployed man, was also grateful that Jackman visited other parts of Singapore.
He said, with tears of gratitude running down his cheeks: “I probably couldn’t afford the tickets for the movie, especially not the weekend prices. But now that I’ve seen him in person, I can just imagine him acting… What a great man.”
Jackman and his star-studded case are slated to leave Singapore after the promotional campaign for their new movie is done, leaving locals to go back to reality and face the daunting challenges alone.
Alfian Sa’at’s genius take on NDP song
This note is stolen from his Facebook. Because such good shit should be shared, not hoarded.
Alfian Sa’at wrote on Facebook:
“Just saw this year’s NDP theme song video. It’s quite funny.”
And he goes on to dissect it bit by bit:
1) The whole video is shot with pastel palettes beloved of high-end condo ads. There’s genteel lens flares, hazy light through white curtains and panoramic shots of the kinds of views that 1% of Singaporeans enjoy.
2) We see the two singers at the beginning–Olivia Ong and Natanya Tan–with their backs facing each other. Not sure why this estranged posture, but it could be inspired by the Merlion and the baby Merlion–whose backs are also facing each other–at the Merlion Park. Quite nationalistic.
3) We see a couple, just rousing in bed, making eye contact. They’re wearing quite thick clothing (the woman also wears smearproof makeup, because her pillows and sheets are pristine white) and are smothered in a duvet. It is obvious that they sleep with the aircon on. And it’s OK because whatever carbon footprint this wasteful couple leaves behind is offset by the fact that there’s a lot of nature shots (reservoirs, greenery, dewdrops) in the video.
4) We next see a girl, in a reclining chair. She could be Indian, or Malay…or maybe Indian-Muslim…or whatever, the token minority box is checked. Next!
5) The next shot is of a guy, holding a guitar, and penning the lyrics to a song. By the way, the girl in the previous shot was also writing something (poetry, maybe?) in her notebook. Singaporeans are so creative and inspired!
6) We see the couple again, and they’re having a playful pillowfight. Are they not creative? They probably were, the night before, but you can’t show *that* in the video.
7) We next see another token minority–a guy, this time, at a park, with his laptop. He spots something in the distance and closes his laptop. This something is an old Chinese man, who has brought along his pet bird, in its birdcage. The guy asks the old man what he is doing. “Oh, I am teaching my bird to read this information plaque here.” The guy replies “I, on the other hand, am trying to get Wifi connection in this park.” The old man says, “What a strange person you are,” and the guy replies, “You too!” The two lonely eccentrics bond.
8) Poet girl walks across the frame, and in the background, an LRT carriage travels across an elevated track. At the same pace at which she walks. Which should be about right.
9) Wasteful couple decide to ‘see how other people in Singapore live’ and thus visit a wet market.
10) If you thought the park scene was bizarre, this next scene raises the bar. We see the Singapore skyline at night, and then we realise it’s an image in a crystal ball. Two young women are looking at it. They’re in some kind of a library/study, and they’ve switched on lamps and lit candles. What kind of occult shenanigans is going on? Who are these wiccans with rebonded hair? What ill-will do they harbour towards the Central Business District? Or is this just the future of HDTV?
11) One of the wiccan sisters advances towards the window. She parts the curtains, and it’s actually daylight outside. And yet they’ve switched on the lamps in their room. The wasteful couple have met their match.
12) Wiccan sister spots the guitar troubadour–who is now wearing a jacket–and they exchange smiles. In actual fact she is laying a hex on him: “may you meet other inappropriately-attired people in the course of your day.”
13) The wasteful couple, still in slum-tourism mode, are fascinated by the sight of someone making teh tarik.
14) Poet girl is apparently in possession of some strong magnet (possibly her bangle) which causes LRT carriages to trail her wherever she goes.
15) She stumbles upon a group of senior citizens practising taiji. She smiles meaningfully, and is inspired to write her next poem. Entitled “Movement Moves Me”, it will be about the juxtaposition of the modern and traditional, about the path of trains and the flow of qi, which she will submit to an anthology of poems about the MRT.
16) The hex materialises. Troubadour guy (in jacket) meets laptop guy (with inner singlet) meets poet girl (with scarf around her neck). Together, they march in defiance of the climate and a song whose lyrics include the line ‘warm sunny days’.
17) They are joined by other people, walking along a row of shophouses. Where are they all heading? As it turns out, to Changi Airport. To receive their friends and relatives. That’s quite a long walk! And not one of them breaks a sweat. Lee Kuan Yew’s dream of air-conditioned underwear has come true. The future is here.
18) An orgy of hugging ensues. Laptop guy, who hugs another guy, makes sure that it’s more of a hybrid handshake-hug, because they’re like, bros, not homos.
19) Natanya Tan’s parents turn up. They ask her, “where have you been?” She replies, “Oh, just singing a duet on a precipitous balcony with an aloof stranger who barely acknowledged my presence.” Olivia Ong looks at her with a strained, pursed-lip smile.
20) Olivia sings, “When it feels this right…” and she looks blissful, her head framed against the clouds, the breeze gently teasing her hair. Natanya continues, “You know that it’s…” It’s what? Kotex? Whisper? Carefree? Which might explain why Olivia’s so frosty towards the little girl throughout the song. “Girl, you gotta go through puberty first before you start singing about sanitary pads!” But no, it’s “…love at first light”.” (Alfian Sa’at)
Editor’s note: If Alfian objects to us stealing his note, we’ll take it down, ok?
Miss Singapore Universe 1998 to 2012: 15 years of winners
Here are the best bits. We swear.
Every year when Singapore sends a representative to the Miss Universe pageant, people would pour scorn on her.
But touch your heart: If any of the girls who took part in the Miss Singapore Universe contest were to walk past you on the street, you can truthfully say you wouldn’t do a double take? And feel a tingling in your loins?
Here at New Nation, we celebrate diversity. And Singapore can be proud of our representatives from the last 15 years.
The fact is: We have been represented by every conceivable ethnic group.
But our top favourite of all time is still Miss Singapore Universe 2006, Carol Cheong. She has the biggest smile.
You shall be the judge. Here are the Miss Singapore Universe title holders from 1998 to 2012.
*Drum roll please*
1. 1998, Alice Lim
Not much is known about her now, except she was 22 when she joined, 5′ 8″ with black eyes.
2. 1999, Cheryl Marie Cordeiro
Cheryl Marie is a Eurasian Singaporean of Chinese (Hakka) and Portuguese descent.
She has a PhD in the field of general linguistics from the University of Gothenburg, after defending her thesis successfully in May 2009. (And you, my friend, are sitting behind the computer screen staring at pics of scantily-clad women. Reality check.)
You can catch up with her life these days (in Sweden where she resides) in her very well organised blog.
Note: She successfully pursued two separate Masters Degrees when she was dabbling in the Miss Singapore Universe pageant, whilst studying French as a third language. (And you are still sitting behind a computer screen staring at pics of scantily-clad women.)
This is how she looks like now. This pic is stolen from Cheryl’s blog:
3. 2000, Eunice Olsen
Eunice Olsen was appointed as a Nominated Member of Parliament (NMP) in Singapore by President SR Nathan, making her the youngest ever at the age of 27.
She also endorses coffee. And does charity.
4. 2001, Jaime Teo
She makes cupcakes for a living now.
5. 2002, Nuraliza Osman
Nuraliza Osman studied law at the National University of Singapore and in the United States. After graduation, Osman worked as a civil litigator for Rajah and Tann.
She is of Chinese, Dutch-Portuguese, Indian and Malay descent (o.O) ?!?.